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One of the most difficult things to handle when caring for a loved one living with dementia is agitation. It is pretty common for someone living with dementia to escalate in their feelings of frustration and become agitated. A proactive approach is the best way to start, but sometimes this doesn’t work and the caregiver needs to redirect or intervene during a period of agitation.

Proactive Approach

We have found that giving someone a feeling of control is the first step to avoiding frustration. Control for them may be different than it is for you or me. Feeling out of control often comes from having an unmet need, or not understanding the situation. Below are some tips for giving someone that feeling of control:

• Ensure that all needs are met. The individual may not be able to verbalize or communicate needs so check on needs such as bathroom, pain, hunger, thirst, movement, purpose, overstimulation etc. Our next blog post will focus entirely on unmet needs, but it is good to know that some needs just can’t be met, such as something that is the result of a hallucination or delusion.
• Orient to time and place. Frequently orient the person to time and place. Just reminding them that it is a certain day, what time of day, and what is happening can be helpful. If they are not sure about the year, date, or day of the week…..that doesn’t matter. This shouldn’t be something to argue over. Just a reassuring comment such as “Yes, it is almost lunchtime. We have breakfast a couple of hours ago and I bet you are getting hungry” Or, “Today is Thursday, we will go to church on Sunday. You know I wouldn’t let you miss it.”
• Never argue. If your loved one is focused on something that is not actually happening or appears to be tied to a different reality, don’t argue. Try to meet them where they are and use soothing strategies for the situation they think is happening, rather than tell them it isn’t happening.
• Engagement can be very helpful. Keeping the person engaged in an activity so that they don’t let their mind wander or get distracted by the things that send them down an upsetting path. Some examples of ways to engage people living with dementia include but are not limited to: music, movement, organizing, simple tasks like folding clothes, chores or jobs, and activities such as those offered in a Connectivities box.
• Approach is everything. Depending on what is causing the agitation how you approach the individual can be a game changer. For helpful tips watch some of Teepa Snow’s videos on TikTok.

Calming During an Episode of Agitation

• Stay calm and talk less.
• Don’t let them push your buttons. Remember, they aren’t giving you a hard time, they are having a hard time.
• Play music. Possibly something soothing, or maybe something upbeat that they love that will distract them.
• Join them in their reality and try to help them solve the problem.
• Validate the emotion you are seeing. Such as “you sound scared”, or “that must be upsetting”.
• Go for a walk.

For more information access our book, “Now is Found” or visit the Connectivities website at https://connectivities.us/ 

Being a caregiver is one of the hardest jobs out there. It's a full-time job that often doesn't leave room for much else. If you're feeling stressed, burned out, or like you're just not sure where to turn, never fear! There are plenty of resources out there to help you in your journey.  

Here are eight of the best: 

1. Books

There are some great books out there specifically for caregivers. We recommend "The Caregiver's Survival Guide" by Elizabeth Lombardo and "The Caregiver's Path to Compassionate Caregiving" by Erika Funke. These books offer practical advice and tips for caregivers, as well as emotional support. As a caregiver, it is also critical to take care of yourself. Check out “Just for You: A Daily Self Care Journal” by Elizabeth Miller.   

2. Articles 

If you're looking for more specific advice or information on a certain topic, there are loads of great articles online. Try searching for articles on "dementia caregiving tips" or "how to deal with caregiver stress." Two of our favorite places to find information is Teepa Snow’s Positive Approach to Care, and Happy Healthy Caregiver. You can also find helpful articles on the National Institute on Aging website or the Alzheimer's Association website. 

3. Podcasts/TV/Radio Shows

Podcasts are a great way to get information and support while you're on the go. We recommend "The DementiaSherpa Show" and "Caregivers Circle." Both of these podcasts offer practical advice and emotional support for caregivers of loved ones with dementia. “Alzheimer’s Speaks Radio” is another great resource.  Long time dementia care advocate Lori Le Bay talks to caregivers, people living with dementia and other advocates. A brand new TV show, called Dementia Diva’s will be airing soon on the free streaming service Saltbox TV.  

4. Poems 

Poetry can be a great source of comfort when you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed. Check out poems by Tish Davidson, Naomi Shihab Nye, and Billy Collins. Or search for poems on specific topics like "caregiving," "dementia," or "aging." Writing poetry with your loved one can be healing for both of you.  Visit The Alzheimer’s Poetry Project online for books and information on how to create poetry together. 

5. YouTube Accounts 

There are some great YouTube channels out there specifically for caregivers. We recommend Dementia Careblazers, Dementia Success Path and Caregiver Stress. These channels offer practical advice, emotional support, and information on dealing with dementia specifically. 

6. Social Accounts 

Following certain social media accounts can also be a great way to get support as a caregiver. We recommend following @yourdementiatherapist on Instagram @dementiacaregiverssupportgroup on Facebook. These accounts offer practical tips, emotional support, community and information specifically for caregivers of loved ones with dementia. 

7. Apps

Apps can also be a helpful resource for caregivers. There are apps that can help with things like managing medications, tracking doctor's appointments, and communicating with other members of the care team. We recommend the apps Medisafe, CareZone, and Life360 . These apps offer helpful features like medication reminders, appointment tracking, and care team communication. 

8. Websites

In addition to all the great resources already mentioned, there are also some great websites specifically for caregivers. We recommend Dementia Map, The Caregiver Space, AgingCare, and Eldercare Locator. These websites offer practical tips, information on local resources, and forums where caregivers can connect with one another.  

Being a caregiver is hard work. But it doesn't have to be done alone. There are tons of great resources out there to help you in your journey. So, if you're feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath and know that help is available. Whether you need practical tips, emotional support, or just someone to talk to, there are people and resources out there who can help. 

Since the COVID pandemic began, lockdowns, social distancing and intermittent quarantining has made it hard for families and communities to connect. And those isolating issues are compounded for people with dementia and their caregivers.

Due to heightened medical concerns, social interactions and outings may be curtailed or canceled, leaving the caregiver and cognitively impaired individual more time “alone” together.

Filling the endless hours with meaningful, enriching activities can be a challenge both for family and professional caregivers. That’s why it’s not surprising one of the frequent questions caregivers ask geriatric specialists and neurologists is: What can we do all day?

Now, one organization hopes to provide an answer—one that arrives at your door in a brightly colored box.

Purposeful, personalized activities 

In July 2022, Prairie Elder Care, a Kansas-based assisted living and dementia-care organization, launched Connectivities, a monthly subscription service for caregivers of people with dementia.

“Many times, for caretakers, the burden of planning overshadows their ability to truly engage,” said Connectivities co-founder Michala Gibson, RN. “Connectivities delivers a solution that’s simple, purposeful and personal right to caretakers’ front doorsteps.”

Each box includes eight or more seasonal activities, puzzles, games, etc., that have been tested by individuals with dementia in assisted living. While they may look simple, the materials in the box are finely curated to engage individuals with differing cognitive and physical abilities. 

"While they may look simple, the materials in the box are finely curated to engage individuals with differing cognitive and physical abilities."

“We spend a lot of time testing different shapes and sizes of the same product to figure out what’s actually going to work best for that particular activity,” said Mandy Shoemaker, a former elementary school principal and the other Connectivities co-founder.

To encourage multi-generational participation, Connectivities include a step-by-step written guide with photo illustrations, so many activities can be led or completed with the assistance of elementary-aged children and teenagers. 

In addition, the instructions include therapy goals and modifications to adapt the activity to the appropriate level of difficulty.

“In dementia care,” Shoemaker said, “we talk a lot about how the memory of an activity or interaction may quickly fade, but the feelings they create last.”

Each box also comes with a link to a website that features instructional videos as well as additional music therapy and exercise activities and support links to a caregiver community.

Fostering a sense of community, connection and control

As the owners of the Prairie Elder Care and Prairie Farmstead group homes in Kansas, Gibson and Shoemaker’s experiences led them to develop a philosophy of care that permeates the contents of every box.

“Connectivities really came from our engagement model, which is based on community, connection and control,” Gibson said. “People who are living with dementia need to have a feeling of control to be able to connect with people and form a community. “

During her 20 years in dementia care, Gibson has found maintaining that sense of control depends on caregivers being able to understand, anticipate and satisfy needs before the onset of frustration, confusion and anger.  

We all need a break from our daily routines every now and then, and that’s especially true for people living with dementia. If you’re caring for a loved one living with dementia, it’s also important to take some time for yourself on a regular basis. Research shows that just thirty minutes outside in nature can be a game changer for any of us. But finding activities that are both enjoyable and safe for both of you can be a challenge. That’s why we’ve put together a list of the best dementia-friendly outings to help you and your loved one get out of the house.  Some of these outings are best suited for people living with beginning stages or milder Alzheimer’s and dementia. 

Whether you’re looking for a way to spend some quality time together or you simply need a break from the regular routine, these outings are sure to please. And because they’re designed with safety in mind, you can relax and enjoy your time together without worry. So go ahead and explore our list of the best dementia-friendly outings.

1. Take a stroll through a botanical garden: Most botanical gardens have plenty of benches where you can rest, and the peaceful surroundings can be very calming for someone living with dementia. Just be sure to avoid gardens with crowds or loud noises. Call ahead and see if the garden offers golf cart tours on certain days.  This can be a nice way for both of you to relax.

2. Visit a local farm: There’s something about being surrounded by animals that can be very therapeutic. Farm animals are always entertaining. Even if your loved one didn’t love animals before, doesn’t mean they won’t now.  And because farms are typically large and open, there’s little risk of getting lost or confused. Just be sure to steer clear of any areas where machinery is in use.  Animal sanctuaries or rescues are great places to check out.  They are often open to the public.  You might even end up volunteering at one if things go well!

3. Attend a seniors-only fitness class: Exercise is great for both physical and mental health, so it’s perfect for people living with Alzheimer’s or dementia. Look for fitness classes specifically designed for seniors, as they tend to be lower impact and have less complicated movements.

4. Go fishing: Fishing is another activity that can be very calming, and it’s also great exercise. If your loved one has never fished before, consider taking a beginner’s class together. For an outing like this it is important to have an extra set of hands.  With the fishing gear to juggle and being around water, you want to be sure to set everyone up for success. 

5. Play tourist in your own town: Even if you’ve lived in your town for years, there’s probably still plenty that you haven’t seen. Playing tourist is a great way to spend time together while exploring your surroundings. Plus, it doesn’t require any special equipment or skills—just a sense of adventure!

6. Volunteer at a local animal shelter: Spending time with animals has been shown to have numerous benefits for people living with dementia, so volunteering at a local animal shelter is a great activity for animal lovers. Jobs like helping to socialize puppies and taking dogs for walks are a great option.

7. Take an art or cooking class: Art classes provide opportunities for socialization and creative expression, while cooking classes offer structure and routine—two things that people with dementia often find comforting. It is common for people living with Alzheimer’s and dementia to enjoy creative endeavors even if they did not enjoy them prior to diagnosis. Look for classes specifically designed for seniors or people with dementia/Alzheimer’s disease. 

8. Go on a nature hike: Being outdoors has been shown to reduce stress levels and improve overall well-being, so spending time in nature is always good idea. When choosing a hiking trail, look for ones that are well-marked and relatively level. And if possible, avoid trails with steep drop - offs or bodies water—they could present dangers if your loved one becomes confused or disoriented. Our October Connectivities Box includes a fun fall scavenger hunt!  It is a great outdoor activity!

9. Have lunch at a senior center: Senior centers offer activities, social events, and meals specifically tailored to seniors. Many also have day programs that provide supervised activities for people living with dementia/Alzheimer’s disease. Check your local senior center’s website or give them call find out what they currently offer.

10. Visit a local museum. Museums often have special tours for people living with Alzheimer’s or dementia.  Call ahead and see what the museum offers.  There are so many opportunities for connections in museums!

Caring for someone living with dementia can be both challenging and rewarding. It’s important to find ways relieve stress and stay positive — you and your loved one will benefit from it. We hope our list of the best dementia-friendly outings has given some ideas help you get started! Remember, it‘s important take breaks and focus on self-care —you deserve it!